according to wilz

Please take from me my life

2009-05-20T19:03:00.000-07:00

Please take from me my life

When I don't have the strength to give it away to you

Please take from me my life

When I don't have the strength to give it away to you Jesus

(Third Day)

It hurts to Care

2009-05-17T07:41:00.000-07:00

It hurts to care.
Yes, it really does.

Farewell, Mac Ooi.

2009-05-04T09:53:00.000-07:00

Today, at 8.30pm, you breathed your last.

Mac, you have always been a good dog, a constant companion and a faithful friend. I am proud to call you mine.

You were brave and a tough dog. I knew you were in great pain but you didn't make any noise. I saw how you struggled to hold on to mum's embrace. I saw how your quietly turned your eyes to me, as if you were bidding goodbye, a last goodbye to me. I saw how you quietly slipped away. Mac, words serves to hinder me from describing how much I will miss you.

Throughout the years, we have only given you whatever time is left after our busy daily routines, little pats, baths and dutiful meals and yet you have given us your everything. From you I learn the meaning of simple unconditional love and the impermanence of life that makes everyone and everything worthwhile so that I may learn to cherish what I have and stop chasing what I dont.

Thank you for bringing us 6 years of joy, laughter, companionship and warmth into our family.

Rest in peace, Mac Ooi.
You will always be a part of our family.
We love you. Always have and always will.

I teared today

2009-04-10T09:59:00.000-07:00

I teared today.
Don't ask me why.
But I teared today.

Lost and Found

2009-04-01T19:46:00.000-07:00

"Or suppose a woman has ten silver coins and loses one. Does she not light a lamp, sweep the house and search carefully until she finds it? And when she finds it, she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin.'

Lost but now am found. Rejoice with me!

Old Testament

2009-03-16T23:42:00.000-07:00

After a long long while, our Old Testament course finally coming to an end. Through the many weeks, we have learned a lot about the OT, argued on many bible verses and its implications, laughed at certain biblical characters and puzzled at the way the people reacted during the olden days. We questioned God and His ways, only to find out that God has no obligations to explain why He acted in a particular way, which make most of our arguing pointless. Haha.

Our course Professor, Dr.Vincent Ooi has an interesting way to teach us the subject. More often than not, he will present us with difficult theologies and challenged our view towards the OT and God. It is fortunate that that we still remain a Christian after the course.

All in all, we had a good time studying the Old Testament together. I now have a clearer picture of the Old Testament. Through the course, I've also seen how God's unconditional love permeates through the all the books of Old Testament. He is indeed the same God, yesterday, today and forever.

(Pictures courtesy of Kevin Tay)

No Reply

2009-02-17T02:58:00.000-08:00

Last week in the North Cell Group, Joshua in a way "scolded" his members for not bothering to reply any of his sms-es. When asked, most of them just shrugged casually and tried to look innocent.

I emphatized with Joshua. Really. For I too am a victim of such. There were so many times which I felt like walking over to that particular person, hold on to both of the shoulders and give a violent shake while demanding to know "Why didn't they bother to reply any of my sms-es/ mails?"

Ya. I've done that before. Maybe not that violent la. But serious enough to let that person know that I meant business.

And do you know what reply I got? "Errr... I thought no need to reply one?". Argghhh! Despite the two or three times i msged to ask for a confirmation, this fella had to guts to tell me that he/she thought that there was no need to reply.

Well, Joshua. I feel for you. I guess we just need to be more firm and at the same time allow God to work in this area of thier life, and including mine too.

(for your info, i used to be one of the culprit too. Leslie will say double amen to that. Haha.)

Change us, Lord. Help us to be more like Your Son, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Grammys

2009-02-11T23:13:00.000-08:00

No Wonder Our Kids Listen to It

Posted: 09 Feb 2009 02:34 PM CST

Why are adults surprised that kids listen to raunchy music?

Kids are only following their example.

Last night the Grammys gave us a true glimpse of what adults value in this world. The Grammys has a long history of being THE music awards show. Unlike the Teen Choice Awards, or many of the MTV awards shows, The Grammys are chosen by adults. Then why was Lil Wayne nominated for more than anyone else, 8 Grammys?

Do these adults even know what this guy is singing about? (you can take a little peek at his content in this article ) Maybe Lil Wayne should take this opportunity to ask their daughter on a date?

Maybe the same could be said about Kid Rock, Robert Plant and others at the show last night. But I think most adults are probably a little more comfortable with the messages coming from the albums of U2 and Coldplay than the young Mr. Wayne. Or maybe, in today's world lyrical content just doesn't matter. Because last night we awarded Wayne with trophies for the explicit album Tha Carter III, and three other songs, including the song Lollipop, an explicit song about oral sex.

"You're a foul mouthed pervert. Here's your trophy." (pause) "But kids, you watch your mouths!"

David wrote about the blurring of the line between music for adults and teens last week in our Youth Culture Window article, The 2009 Grammys: Do Adults Like the Same Music as Teens?

(Excerpts from The Source : Youth Culture Window)

Wrestlings. Anyone?

2008-11-17T23:45:00.001-08:00

This afternoon, I was at the Children’s Drama rehearsals to teach the children some dance steps. Over in Jireh Hall, a g group of youth was busy choreographing a fighting “dance” for one of the scenes. I watched with interest how they incorporated in body flips, turnings, jumping, rolling, punching and kicking to make the fight looked real. The war music added intensity to the atmosphere.

Having watched all the fighting, my mind couldn’t helped but to think back of the good old days when we, the youth (mostly guys) fought whenever we have stayovers. May it be at church’s camps, youth camps, cell retreats, prayer retreats, pastors’ house or just an overnight stay, we would never fail to arrange for our “fights’ in the room. From pillow fights to WWE wrestling, we will not call it a day if no one fights till there’s not a single ounce of energy left in us. .

Thinking back, I don’t know what’s so special about it but it seemed that everyone was enjoying it and demanded to have more of it the subsequent night. I think this could be one the peculiar ways the guys showed their affection of brotherly love to one another. Haha. We really had a lot of fun and many friendships were bonded through our so called “fights.”

However, it was not so for one incident between me another good friend of mine.

We were at a retreat some time back and during one of the free afternoons, we decided to initiate our wrestling matches. Everything was fine and we had good time laughing our hearts out seeing how one defeated another with their funny moves and styles.

Then it was our turn. We started off like everyone else and it went quite fine. But I really have no idea how suddenly the punches and kicks turned real and we ended up fighting violently. The cheering and laughing died down. The other youth were stunned and dumbfounded. I think both of us were also caught by surprise. Fortunately, we managed to stop without anyone having to call for the ambulance.

The fight ended. And so was our friendship. Since then, our friendship drifted apart and and we were reduced to total strangers. I wished I was dreaming, but reality kept rearing its ugly head. I regret serving him that punch so hard. I regret having to slap him so hard. It must have hurt him more than just physically. That was one of the things that I have done in my entire life which I truly regret.

Nothing much can be done now. However, it served as a call for me to be more vigilant and think twice if the youths ever thought of organizing any so called fights.

I am sorry, friend.

Random

2008-11-16T06:29:00.000-08:00

Have you ever found yourself having so much in your mind to say but simply cannot put it into words. I find myself in the exact situation now.

No. It is not because of my limited vocab. No. It's not of my laziness to type it out. And definitely it's not the fact that I am using Oon Feng's computer right now and that he's been hinting to go out for supper at Charlies.

But there are just so many things that are better left unsaid. There are so many things that are just good if it remains in your heart and as a thought. Lest you are branded as rebellious, unforgiving, unteachable or having little faith.

Some of you may identify with me. I don't know. The more older I get, the more careful I have to be with my words and actions. I just cannot follow my heart and say what I want to say. You cant just cry out loud when you are sad and cant laugh your heart out when you are happy.

Do you think that this is a part of growing up and maturing?

Have you ever wished that you did not have to grow up so fast?

(plz do not judge this post of wilson's sign of immaturity and refusal to grow up. It's just my random rambling)

Mac Ooi

2008-10-06T09:06:00.000-07:00

It has been a long week since you disappeared from home. Where have you been, Mac? We are dead worried for you. Words are just not sufficed to describe how much we miss you.

When mum told us that you have not come home since you left for your usual 5 minutes morning toilet break, we initially thought that you just got a little bit naughty and went to play with your friends and will be back in a while. However, hours after hours, you were nowhere to be seen. We started to get worried.

The very next day, mum asked me to accompany her to look for you. I took her on the bike and launched a thorough search for you everywhere in our kampung. We searched in every corner, every lane, every bush, every drain and every house with dogs.

We searched high and low and went to every place that you could possibly be, but yet we still couldn’t find you. It is very heart-wrenching to see how mum, with teary eyes and a shaky voice, approached every person she bumped into, asking them whether anyone saw her "little" dog. My heart ached to see her like that.

Mac, where have you been? Every since the day you disappeared, mum purposely left the gate ajar, hoping that you will be able to come in when you come back. Every time we talked about you, she starts tearing up. Where did you go?

Liang and I used to be very jealous of you that mum always put you in her first priority. Whenever she needed to go out for a day, instead of making sure we have food for ourselves, she will remind us again and again to remember to feed you, make sure you have enough water in your cup, put you back in your small room at night, and give you extra dry cloth for your blanket. Haha. We were indeed very very jealous of you.

Mum was telling our neighbors the other day that in the worst case scenario, she hopes that you would end up with someone kind and caring. Someone who will be able to rightfully discern your eating and living habits and thus able to properly care for you.

Thinking back, I really doubt that anyone would know your peculiar habits. Who would know that you do not eat rice? Who would know that you will choke when you eat bones? Who would know that you eat Pedigree brand dog food and chicken meat specially cooked by mum? (Only mum knows exactly how much soya sauce and water to put in your chicken dish) Who would know that you only drink milk scooped on mum’s hand and not from the saucer? Who would know that you have to "blow-dry" using the hair dryer immediately after your bath? Who would know that you cannot stand cold and who would know that you dislikes wet floors? Who would know?

But Mum knows. For 5 years, she had been doing that for you. Mum really loves you, Mac. Well, thinking back, how could we ever gotten jealous of you? Like mum said, for the last 5 years, you were the only one who faithfully waited at the gate when she returns home, and greet her with your exciting high pitch bark. You were the only one who will run to her to greet her the moment she stepped out of the car, while we were slouching at the sofa watching TV. How could mum not love you?

Mac, we love you too. We miss you sorely. We miss your familiar high pitch bark, greeting us whenever we come home. In fact, you will start barking even way before we reach home. Until now, it’s still a mystery to us how you are able recognize and starts barking even before our car reached home.

We miss the way how you like to "manja" and squeeze yourself between us whenever we were on the sofa watching TV. We miss the way you run in and out of the house and we miss the way how you jumped up and down, waiting anxiously for us to let you out for your toilet break. We miss the way you barked at every person who comes near to our house. Mum always praises you that you are her good dog, who will always sit by the gate, guarding our house for us.

Indeed, you are a good dog. It has been 5 years you stayed with us, bringing much joy and laughter to every one of us. You traveled everywhere with us and you have been with us through the happy and not so happy times. You are a part of our family and we love you, Mac. We really do.

Mac, where did you go? I have been praying hard for your return. All of us miss you terribly. We are so worried that you don’t have the right food to eat. We are worried that you don’t have enough dry cloth for your blanket at night. We are worried that bigger dogs will bully you. We are worried that you cannot adapt to whatever new environment you are in right now. Mac, don’t stay away for too long. Come home soon.

When Liang brought you back to our house 5 years ago, you cried the whole night and I let you sleep on my bed together with me. Yesterday, I cried myself to sleep thinking of you. Did you?

Where are you, Mac?

2008-10-01T08:46:00.000-07:00

My dog, Mac hasn't come home for 2 days already.

Where are you, Mac? I miss you sorely.

Come home soon.

Anything at all

2008-09-13T02:46:00.000-07:00

So here I am...Rachel Yeoh...meddling with Wilson's blog.Well...he allowed me too.It's also because I miss blogging so much that I decided to...well...just blog!
My first time blogging in another account!
I am given permission to write anything at all...so...as my fingers move rather swiftly across the keyboard I am still wondering what to write.
Wilson is peering...

Oh...I know what to write about now!
A name was just mentioned as Javern,Leonard and Wilson are busying themsleves behind me.

Guess who???

I think you know...

Wilson's very good friend...

Got any idea?

Well...

It's none other than...

WOO YUEN CHERN!

I can see him giving a sly smile as he is reading this.
Just so you know,Yuen Chern is a cell leader intern for the a cell that just went through mitosis but he had to leave to further his studies.
Not that we talked about him much.He has already left anyway...WITHOUT A WORD!
I was rather dissapointed at first...frankly speaking...but...it's good for him.
I am sure Wilson has a lot to say about him.I don't know what to say...
Wilson and the ISCA sends him their blessing.

***

Bug just bounced onto Wilson's table...asking for help.Wilson's place seems to be a place where youths come for 'refuge and strength'.Well...ummm...as in...they come to get help from Wilson,to call people,send their stuff for safe-keeping.

Let me just look around and see what I can find...

I see and activity book...
Topical Question Bank 1200,English 1119,Form 4.

I also see Aaron's guitar...

Today his place is exceptionally clean.
Usually...people deposit thier high heels,clothes,socks,sport shoes,soft toys and the list goes on and on.
I am not an exception as I do that a lot too.

Let us here what he thinks about it the next time he blogs...Hopefully...
I got to say tata for now...I am hungry!Need to get to PalmSprings to get food!

P/S
Daniel Jr. says HI to everyone!

This time last year

2008-08-28T03:19:00.000-07:00

Joshua has an elephant memory. One of his favorite hobbies is to remind me of what we did, where we were this time last year/ week/ month...etc. I marvel at his great memory.

This afternoon, as I was talking to him, once again he reminded me what we did exactly this time last year and how August 2007 had been an eventful month for him. Gosh. It suddenly dawned on me how fast time flies. I am already in August 2008.

Thinking back, many things have happened ever since last August.

This time last year I was still the Children Ministry Administrative staff, very much clueless of my future. This time last year, I didn’t know that I will be assuming the post for the Youth Intern for ISCA, let alone enrolling ,myself in MBTS to further my studies.

This time last year, I had friends who were very close to me, treating me as their brother and friend. But not anymore. On the contrary, this time last year, I also had friends whom I barely knew but now ended up being very close.

This time last year, I remember visiting Ian at the hospital with Marcus and Joshua, holding his hand, assuring him that we will walk this difficult journey together. Ian passed away shortly after that. It has been a year ever since. I take comfort knowing that he is in heaven now, enjoying the embrace of our Heavenly Father.

This time last year, Marcus, Oon Feng and Jeremiah had to go through a tough time coping with Ian’s death. I know it’s painful to bear the fact that your classmate who used to play and fool around with you is no longer here; especially at this tender young age. I thank God for carrying them through this tough time.

This time last year, Joshua was down with denque. I remember sitting with him outside the clinic, waiting for his turn to see the doctor. It was very disheartening to see how an energetic, bubbly brother of mine suddenly became so weak and restless. I see how he summoned all his energy just to sit up on the bench. Thank God for His healing grace. Joshua is back to normal in no time.

But life goes on. All these this time last year taught me one thing; that time and tide waits for no men. Seize the day and make the best out of it. Treasure your friends and your loved ones as if there is no more this time next year. Serve God as if there is no this time next year. Study as is there is no this time next year. Do it today and do it now.

I can’t change the things that have happened this time last year and I don’t know what is in store this time next year, but I know I will do what I can today, and make the best out of it.

Cruise

2008-08-28T03:05:00.000-07:00

Many months ago, I had the opportunity to go on a personal cruise. Being a “kampung boy” and never had stepped a foot into a cruise in my entire life, I gladly accepted the invitation by that family, though it was just for the night because I am working the next day.

We had to wait at the pier for a small speed boat to come and pick us up, and later transport us to the cruise. According to Uncle Michael, the cruise will not come to the pier because of her size. But I don’t mind. There were many other smaller yachts parked alongside the harbour, so Sarah and I wasted no time and started to take pictures. We posed as if we were its proud owner of the yacht.

The view of the cruise became clearer as the speedboat drew closer and closer. Oh my! It was really a gigantic cruise. According to one uncle, this cruise ranks 10^th in the SEA. Our Prime Minister and former Prime Minister have also used this boat for their holidays before.

We were taken for a short tour around the cruise. Everywhere we went was filled with Oohs and Waahs as we marveled at the beauty of the cruise. Sarah and I were busy taking pictures at every bent and corner. Actually, I was the one who wanted to snap as many pictures that I could. Sarah visited this cruise before so most of her pictures have been taken before this.

Everything was so nice. The master bedroom, the cabins, the lounge, the dining hall…everything. Well, what do you expect? It’s a personal cruise of a tycoon in Malaysia. By the way, the cost of maintaining this cruise is RM100 000 per month. This is what I called a rich man’s world. I wouldn’t spend that much money to maintain a cruise which I only visit once in a while. Haha. But anyway, I also don’t have that amount of money la.

I also went fishing for the very first time in my life! Thank God that at least, I caught some fishes. Really thrilling. But I didn’t get to eat the fish. According to Sarah, they cooked it for lunch the next day.

Dinner was served and this time, we had Thai food. Authentic Thai food because most of the staff on board are Thais. Haha. Sarah and I were both deceived by the clear colour soup which turned out to be very spicy tomyam soup. Haha.

I continued my fishing adventure after dinner. Sort of getting the hook of it. Sarah couldn’t resist temptation and joined in as well. Uncle Michael, who happens to be very good in fishing, was beside us giving a tip or two on the correct way of fishing. There was so much to learn in fishing.

After that, it was time to go home. I really had a lot of fun that night. Too bad, I couldn’t stay until the next day. But I thank God I had the oppurtunity to even come, even just for that night.

It was really a chance of a lifetime.

Wayne is Lame

2008-07-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

As usual, I was lying on my bed, catching up on today's newspaper, waiting for my eyes to shut down, calling it for a day. The newspapers nowadays are too depressing to read, with flashing subtitles like, Cabinet mulling over lowering fuel prices, Anwar: No reason to arrest me, Iran says to continue nuclear path before deadline, Penang expresses 'regret' over Fed Govt move, Heavy traffic has residents worried, etc. What has happened to all the good news?

As I was thinking and mulling over it, a sudden thought came to me and I smiled. It was a joke shared to me by Wayne. I was talking to him this afternoon and he decided to make me happy by sharing a lame joke about some Char Siew Pao s. Haha. Really lame. I remember telling him that if he was there at that time with me, I would have awarded him a punch. It was really lame.

Well, what can you expect from Wayne? Just a quick browse through his Wall in facebook and you will know that he is dubbed as the lamest boy ever lived in ISCA. Haha. Wayne is lame. Lame is Wayne. Hey, it rhymes too! Haha.

But this lame boy who to a certain extend, annoying to some people, holds a very special place in my heart. I have the privilege to watch him grow from a very young boy then to now a young man of God. But still lame. Haha. Anyway, it's truly a blessing to have this friend who will never fail to brighten up my day with his friendship and lame jokes (just like today) and I appreciate him.

Sometimes, you feel like you really want to bash him up with the lame jokes he comes up with (and also for making you feel like an idiot because you couldn't answer his lame questions), but more often than not, it was all his jokes that has accompanied us through our lives, through the seasons of life and giving us a reason to smile. And we love you for that, Wayne.

Thank you for being who you are.

Explanations

2008-06-18T10:37:00.000-07:00

I was chatting with my friend the other day and he mentioned something that made me think really hard.

Explanations are UNNECESSARY.

Friends who believe you do not need it while
People who do not believe you will not accept it.

Something worth pondering. Haha.

Friendship isn't always a sunny side up.

2008-06-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

I used to believe adamantly that friendship will always remain the same even if tested through time, trials, challenges and distance. I still believe it though, with just a few exceptions here and there.

I learnt that sometimes, no matter how hard we are trying to hold to one, trying hard to keep it that way, the truth is that certain friendships will never be the same again. It is not that you are not considered a friend anymore; I think it's more like we outgrew each other.

We should accept it that many things are not and will not be the same like before. The amount of time you hang out together, the amount of time you spend on the phone, the number of sms-es and even the topic that you both discussed. It will not be the same.

My friend once told me that a friendship should not be measured using this measurement criteria. The amount of time or sms-es you spend do not equate to the status of one's friendship. More often than not, it is the different ways we have acquired to express our friendship.

I think I am starting to understand that. The important thing is not to compare and to "kira" so much. Thank God for what you have and do not complain. Do your best to be a friend. Love one another. Give freely and do not expect anything in return.

Move on.

A Case of Misunderstanding

2008-06-08T09:17:00.000-07:00

I was attending a wedding dedication this afternoon and was seated among the youth somewhere in the middle of the hall.

Halfway through, a friend of mine suddenly appeared next to me, signalling that he wanted to seat next to me. The problem was that i was seated at the far right of the row and there was no more seat next to me. In order not to create attention, I quickly asked Yvonne who was next to me to move a seat to the left to make way for this friend of mine. As the result everyone in that row had to move a seat to the left. Pai Seh.

But I was quite happy. I was thinking to myself that "Wow. My friend really wanted to seat with me and spend time with me." I was encouraged.

But, in less than 5 minutes, he asked to change seat again, and this time he asked another friend who seated a row behind me to change seat with him. I was a bit puzzled. The last row was already full with other youths.

Heck. It just dawned that he wanted to sit next to me so that he can get one seat to swap with the guy at the row behind me, so that he could help Rachel to write songs for Father's Day. Haha. And I was thinking about how blessed i am to have such a caring friend at the moment. (not that he is not) Haha. Just that moment.

Anyway, it's not his fault anyway la. I dont blame him. It was just a funny case of misunderstanding.

This Is My Alma Mater.

2008-05-19T08:11:00.000-07:00

I was supposed to join a group of friends in Saint Xavier's Institution this morning for a game of basketball, but thanks to a certain friend who changed my cell phone's theme late last night; I couldn't recognize my phone ring tone, even after Yuen Chern called me for the 10th time. I woke one hour late for the appointment :(

After briefly finishing up my house chores, I rushed there, not in time to join them for the game, but thankfully still in time to fetch some of them home. When I arrived at the basketball court, they were just about the round up the game. So, I decided to sit down and wait for them.

I was sitting carelessly at the corridor, waiting patiently for them to call it a day. Suddenly, a thought came and it suddenly dawned upon me that the spot that I was sitting was the exact same spot I used to sit 10 years ago, when I was still studying in this school. My mind raced back through time, bringing back many happy and sweet memories of this beloved school, where I spent 5 years of my life with it.

The basketball court itself has many stories to tell. I remember how I used to march in the hot and scorching sun in my early days in Red Crescent Society. The court was also the place where we practiced every day for many months for RC's Step dance, which SXI was crowned champion for two consecutives years.

I remember my first encounter with Bro Paul, where he scolded me for not willing to help him. Boy, I can never forget that! I still remember exactly what he said. I was just in Form 1 then. Imagine how scared I was that time.

I also remember how I was punished after the assembly for not bringing my school tie and was asked to collect rubbish at the court. I always wondered why they asked us to do that, as the basketball court was never dirty. However, most of us back then were rather contented and did exactly what was told, fearing that the discipline master would finally come to his senses and ask us to clean toilets instead.

When I was in upper secondary school, the little RC room next to the court was the hiding place for many of us to escape the weekly assembly. We would lock ourselves in it and wait quietly for the assembly to dismiss before sneaking back to class.

I also remember how Bro Charles will never fail to nag us whenever we accidentally [or purposely] stepped on the grass in his garden next to the basketball court. I wonder whether he is still in the school.

Suddenly, I felt a sense of closeness and camaraderie with this school. I realized how I miss this school. Times were definitely much happier then. This is the place where I spent 5 years of education, preparing me to face the world. This is the place where I made a lot of friends, both good and bad. This is the place where I went through a lot of fun times and ocasionally not so fun times. This is the place where I grew up.

This is my Alma Mater.

As they finally finished the game and was ready to leave, I quickly took a quick glance of the surroundings. Time flies. The last time I sat on that spot was 10 years ago. Many things had change since then, including myself. 10 years ago, I never thought that I would become who I am today. Never will I know what will happen in 10 years time. Only the Lord knows.

As I was walking out from the basketball court, I turned to Simon who was walking next to me and uttered something which I know I will not say 10 years ago - "I am a XAVIERIAN and I am proud to be called one".

Forward her children dear,

Ever with hearts sincere,

Render with joy to your mater her due,

All that is vile reject,

Heaven will e'er protect,

Sons of St Xavier's valiant and true.

Colorblind

2008-05-13T01:05:00.000-07:00

I was browsing through Matteus' blog the other day and came across one entry on Tan Hong Ming's interview. It was hilarious and he was really cute. But besides these, Hong Ming also taught us something valuable, that we should perceive people above their races, status and colors.

Sometimes, when I talked to my friends who are still in school, I find out that many of them only mix with the people of the same race. They will often joke and make fun if somebody chooses to do otherwise. C'mon. There is nothing wrong to be friends, or even best friends with people from other ethnics groups.

I was at Dewan Sri a few weeks ago, for SGGS's musical presentation. Though I may not be able to remember any of the songs or lyrics sung that night, there is one thing that really impressed me and will served as a reminder for me forever.

It was the unity among the crew, Chinese, Malays, Indians and etc. The love for one another. The love for everyone. The genuine love. After the drama, they were seen snapping pictures with one another and hugging each other, exchanging words of encouragement and praise for one another. They enjoy being with one another. They didn’t pretend. It was real. How very touching. I personally think that it is the best scenes compared to all the scenes I watched that night.

And the funny thing was they weren't acting at all.

Lord, when it comes to people and friendships, help me to be colorblind, that I will be able to see beyond colors, races and backgrounds, just like how You see them.

Show Me Your Ways, Lord

2008-03-03T19:11:00.000-08:00

“Show me your ways O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior and my hope is in you all day long.” Psalm 25:4-5.

An Ode to Friendship!

2008-02-26T08:00:00.000-08:00

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends - John Churton Collins

I cant help but to agree with John. A short but profound statement of his. Reading this statement makes me think of all the friends I've made along this journey of life, and how different situations my friends showed who they really are.

And to those who have been with me through every seasons in my life (especially the season where everyone seems to be walking away), I want to thank you. I want to thank you for sticking with me through it all. I want to thank you to standing up for me. And I want to thank you for the love and care you showered on me. You know who you are. And yes, THANK YOU.

I Need You

2008-02-21T23:44:00.000-08:00

Lord, I need you. Be with me and never let me go.

Your child,
Wilson

I Need You by The Swift

My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I’m walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out
I need You, Oh, I need You
Blessed Savior come
I need You, Oh, I need You
Fill the every longing in my soul

Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

My bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair
That I keep falling in
I need You, Oh, I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, Oh, I need You
Yaweh, how I love You more than life

Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

Your silence is like death to me
So won’t You hear my desperate plea

Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys
They’re all just passing by
It’s not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I’ve been lifted higher
Yaweh’s lifted me in His own strength

Oh, how I love You, Lord
I love Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The God who always will endure
Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That You have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay
You’ve made my heart in grace to stay
Lord, make my heart in grace to stay

I need You, Oh, I need You

Fifth Day of Chinese New Year, Monday, 11th February 2008

2008-02-13T22:27:00.000-08:00

Today, a bunch of us decided to go for a day trip to Yit Kuan's house in Taiping. We met up in church at about 7.30am and left 15 minutes later. Our first stop was at Maxwell Hill. We reached there around 9.30am and had a quick breakfast at the foothill. The jeep picked us up at 10am and off we went up to Maxwell Hill. The weather was very cooling and we spent some time walking around, admiring the beautiful scenery.

Yit Kuan brought us to try Taiping's famous Poh Piah somewhere around the town area. After that we had lunch at one of the restaurant in town. After lunch, we went to Yit Kuan's house to visit her parents.

I really like the place. There is a small river beside her house. The water was so nice and cooling. The water was so cold! There is a medium sized vegetables plantation just in front of her house and Yit Kuan became our guide, explaining all the different types and usage of the plants and vegetables.

After that, they went to Larut Matang to try the famous ice kacang there. I didn't go with them but went to visit some of my ex Genting colleagues, Por, Kathy and Christine. It was very nice catching up with them after so many years. Tat Shuen and Pui See couldn't make it. They were both down with fever.

Jess drove to pick me up at Kathy's house about an hour later and headed back to Penang. It was quite tiring but absolutely an eventful day. I enjoyed myself.

Little did I realized that Chinese New Year has already come to an end. At least for me. Work starts tomorrow and everything will resume as normal. Anyway, I had a good break. Tiring but a very enjoyable week.

Now, I fully understand the real meaning of Chinese New Year. REUNION. A time together with friends and families. I am glad I was able to do that. I enjoyed meeting up with a lot of friends and relatives and had a really good time catching up with one another.

Who knows this could be the last time we see each other?

Happy Chinese New Year to all of you!

Fourth Day of Chinese New Year, Sunday, 10th February 2008

2008-02-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

Went for Sunday Service this morning. Was glad to see so many friends who were back to Penang during this time. Had a good time catching up with Serene, Leslie, Xe Hui, Michael, Jocelyn, Alvin and many others over lunch at the Nyonya Restaurant in New World Park.

After lunch, I followed Oliver and John to attend the funeral service at Batu Gantong. It was a sad farewell for many lives that have been greatly touched by Aunty Irene's life. Till we meet again, Aunty Irene!

Chern followed me to Gurney Plaza to buy a birthday present. I promised Asher one but totally forgotten about it until today when he approached me this morning. Felt very bad. Anyway, Happy Birthday to you, Asher! Hope you like the present!

I went home to prepare for tonight's steamboat. Yea. We are having steamboat again for tonight. I have invited some of my friends over to my house for dinner. Actually, would like to invite more but my small kampung house cannot fit too many people. Haha.

Joshua and Leonard arrived first, followed by Oon Peng, Oon Feng and Marcus Pan. I thank God for Leonard who was so willingly to ride the bike to road junction to guide the rest in. (he wasn't of age to be legally riding a bike). Haha. Jonathan and Sarah came and Javern joined in a while later. Only halfway trough the dinner that Samuel came to join us. We had a great time of fellowship over the table.

For many people, Chinese New Year wouldn't be complete without poker. Yay! Poker! All of us quickly sat down and Oon Peng, the grandmaster gave everyone a brief instruction of the game. Hmmn. Everyone was so excited. Don't worry, we didn't gamble. We are good people. Haha. Everyone was given RM2 as float which later had to be returned after the game. It was a good game. We had lots of fun. It's very funny to see people like Jonathan, Marcus and Joshua (supposedly good people) shouting and yelling as they played. Marcus tried to cheat and got caught red handed in that game. Haha.

After all the playing, we had steamboat again. I think all the yelling made most of us hungry again. We sat down and eat again and by the time we finished, it was already past midnight.

I really had fun. I think this is the day where I enjoyed most throughout my Chinese New Year.

Third day of Chinese New Year, Saturday, 9th February 2008

2008-02-13T20:28:00.000-08:00

Some of my mum's friends will come to visit this afternoon so I helped to tidy up the house a bit. Later on, I baked some chocolate muffins. I am quite satisfied with myself this time that the muffins turned out okay. For the last few times, the muffins were such a failure that even my pinscher dog refused to eat it.

Just when I was about to prepare to go to work, I received a call from my step uncles that they will be arriving soon. I helped mum to prepare some food while mum was busy entertaining them in the living room. They left one hour later.

Met up with Gabriel and his better half, Chern and Rachel Yeoh for a game of Taboo in the church office. It was fun. The office was still quite empty as many are still away from home.

Met up with Rachel Lim at Palm Spring and a few other youths who have started coming in for service. Amos also joined us at the service today.

After the church service, I went to Aunty Irene's memorial service. Wayne, Amos, Jason and his siblings followed along. My heart goes out to Uncle Poon , Joni and Joey during this time. I pray that the Lord of Peace, Love and Comfort will be with them throughout ftthese times of adjustment. I had a brief time there then headed home to rest.

Second day of Chinese New Year, Friday, 8th February 2008

2008-02-13T19:48:00.000-08:00

Was rudely awakened by the loud music and chattering outside my room.

It was my brother's friends. Four of them and a maid. They came around to visit my parents. I joined them at the table but didn't talk much. I think it's me. I always know I have this peculiar mood every time I wake up in the morning. Just didn't like to talk and feeling grumpy. Funny huh?

In the afternoon, we went to another aunt's house in Lip Sin. Gosh. The apartment was packed with so many people that my brother and I had to resort to stay in one of the rooms. The only place where there is space. Later on, I moved to squeeze with them in with the younger generation to avoid people branding the Ooi brothers for being anti-social. Everyone was watching the Cantonese comedy on TV so nobody was talking. I didn't mind at all. I think I liked it like that.

After half an hour, all of us, literally all of us, around 20 something people, walked over to next door to visit another aunty. We were there for about 10 minutes then left to visit another aunty in Minden Heights. Actually, they were my mum's childhood friends. 8 and 9 altogether. Most of them are married with children and not in Penang, so it was a good time for mum to catch up with them. I went to join the younger generation at the other table. We used to grow up and spend our childhood times together. Those were really happy times. However, it's just so strange that now that we have grown up, we don't talk that much anymore.

We didn't stay for dinner. I am relieved. I heard they were preparing for steamboat. Uncle invited us for dinner at Farlim, so we went to join them. The restaurant was packed with so many people but we didn't have to wait long for the food. We even had discount for our drinks. I later heard that my cousin was a good friend to the owner's son. Not bad huh. Haha.

As I was driving home, I received a message from Wayne. He was in the hospital visiting Aunty Irene. He said that she was in a very critical condition. I msged him back to ask whether is there anything I could help. The reply came and it read "she was called home to be with the Lord". Though, I am not really that close to Aunty Irene, but I can't help to feel very sad.

I can still remember this day last year; she was talking to me in the CNY open house at Jason's house in BM. She prepared a very special dish; baby tomatoes cut to look like a small rabbit and stuffed with a bit of asam to make the whole thing taste unique. I told her it was very nice and she said she would make more next time. It saddens me to know that that there is no more next time.

First day of Chinese New Year, Thursday, 7th February 2008

2008-02-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Woke up around 11 something this morning. Seriously, I can't believe its Chinese New Year already. We spent so much time and effort to prepare for this day and when it's finally here, I just can't feel a thing. Had our usual "geng-geng" dessert (it's a traditional belief that one has to start a new year with sweet stuff). So, you can imagine how sweet that dessert was. I also had some sui kows made by dad.Yummy.

Went to bathe and get ready for visitation. Second uncle and family arrived in their new Myvi. At every glimpse of that car, I can't help but to ask myself when I can finally own my first car. Arggh. I don't like that.

They were already waiting for us as we reached my first uncle's house. As usual the adults will start going around giving angpows and brag about their long hours of house chores before the New Year while we the younger generation will just sit there and make a lot of noise. And EAT. And snap pictures.

After that, all three families went to visit a relative staying just five minutes away. I didn't want to go, but the thought of missing all the angpows there made me changed my mind.

All my two uncles and families later joined us at my house for lunch. Again, we had steamboat. I am probably very scared of fish balls nowadays. Just the mention of it already enough to make me feeling nauseous.

We had dinner at my second uncle's place. Good thing it's not steamboat again.This time, we had rice with dishes. The dishes were very nice. Real hainanese Chinese New Year dishes. Haven't had it for a very long time. Cannot deny that aunty is a really good cook. Yummy.

Chinese New Year Eve, Wednesday, 6th February 2008

2008-02-13T00:06:00.000-08:00

Frankly, I didn’t feel like Chinese New Year is just one day away. Don’t know why. Maybe this is the way we will feel when age caught up with us. Went to work as usual. Most had taken leave so the church office looked like a ghost town. Brought some cookies I baked to share with those who was still around in the office. Lucky them. Or rather should I say not so lucky. Just hope that they didn’t keep running to the toilet after that.

Oh ya, we were allowed to go home at 1pm today. Yay! I think that’s the only excitement which all of us were anticipating. Somehow wished that the clock would tick faster. Come 12 something, Amos and Wayne came to the office to look for me. I was quite looking forward for that. It was our annual ritual thing. An annual business to meet up and then go lepak in Gurney.

Gurney was super packed by the time we reached and we went to have our so called reunion lunch at Pastamania. Met a few friends here and there. I remember this time last year I met Kuan Nee and her mum outside the handphone shop. It has been a year since I last saw her. Exactly one year. Time flies, huh.

After lunch, we went around Gurney and I bought 2 long sleeve shirts for CNY. It was quite last minute but what the heck, it was on the 50 percent offer bin and it’s reasonably cheap after the discount.

Any of our outings in Gurney wouldn’t be complete if we don’t visit the arcade on the 7th floor. We had fun there.

Ah. It’s getting late and it’s about time to go home to prepare for the reunion dinner.

Went home and took a nap. It was supposedly an hours nap but turned out to be 2 and a half. Haha. Guessed I was too tired then. Woke up just in time for reunion dinner. We had steamboat and this time, dad and mum invited their friends over. Frankly, I felt quite awkward having reunion dinner with them. I always thought that reunion dinner was just for family members.

Went to tidy up my room. My brother helped along too. It was one of the few and rare occasions where we worked together and worked well. Haha. We finished at about midnight then we had this crazy idea of tidying up the whole house. So it was not until 3 am that we finally called it a day.

I still wasn’t able to sleep so decided to bake some more cookies. This year I got a bit lazy so I bought those cookies premix. So it was extremely easy to bake. But because of the amount of cookies I had to bake, I ended up sleeping at 7 am in the morning that day. Was pretty tired and exhausted then.

Lying on the bed. Wasn’t thinking about tomorrow. More looking forward to a good night rest

Oh ya. I remember calling a few close friends who were far from home to wish them a happy CNY. But I couldn’t reach most of them. I reckon they must be very busy or the phone line was probably too busy and congested during that peak hour. I remember one year when I was away from home during Chinese New Year, I was pretty sad and miss my home dearly. I missed my family, my friends, the food and everything about CNY. But I thank God for all the sms-es and calls from friends which brought huge comfort in those lonely times.

arrgghh

2008-01-26T12:31:00.000-08:00

arggghhhhhhhhh. i.dont.like.it

A silent cry

2008-01-19T10:19:00.000-08:00

An echo fades into the night,
an eerie mournful sound.
A shooting star disappears from sight,
and I crumble to the ground.

There is no life within this garden;
my sobs are the only sound.
I have poisoned the honeyed fountain
where your love and friendship could be found.

Dazed, I stare at the stars above,
my grieving howls fill the night!
Unintended betrayal of love
has hidden you from my sight.

I remember how it used to be
when we shared our fears and delights.
You are a treasured friend to me.
How can I make things right?

Feeling afraid, cold and lonely,
I long to tell you how I feel,
but you dont want to hear me.
The pain for you is much too real.

Should I back away and build a wall
and block away how I feel?
Or, should I give you a call?
We both need some time to heal.

An echo fades into the night
as our friendship disappears.
How do I know what is right?
How can I ease my fears?

If I do call you again,
would the old wounds reappear?
I cant stand to cause you pain.
Hurting you again is my worst fear!

YMCA Bible Quiz 2007

2007-11-18T10:40:00.001-08:00

I promised that I'll write. So, here's one.

The Youth of Penang Christian Centre has once again proved that with God, impossible is nothing.

The cut the long story shot, Yes. We WON! Yay! We won the YMCA Bible Quiz 2007! I can’t believe myself saying this, but this year, we came home with Champion, First and Second runner up. Yay! I am beaming.

It's God. It is our God who had granted us the victory. We couldn’t do it ourselves. We have nothing. We started revision late and had very limited time for preparation. In fact, we didn't even go through the chapters thoroughly. We were just in time to browse through the Book of Luke and off we went for the Bible Quiz.

I was just telling myself that we should consider ourselves "lucky" even to come home with a consolation prize. Not that I did not have faith in my fellow quizzers, but I do believe that the other participating churches must had also tried their very best. God is good to us. I guess the old saying is true, we just do our best and God will do the rest. He has indeed. And we want to give Him all the praise, honour and glory due Him.

I am very impressed with my fellow quizzers. ALL OF THEM performed exceptionally well. They answered well, not forgetting the many risks they took. My heart almost gave away when one of the quizzer stood up even before the quiz master read the question. The funny thing is that they got that answer correct and was awarded points accordingly. Haha. I just hope that they committee wouldn't start to think that we "pakat" with the quiz master.

They really gave their all, their best, surrendering everything to God. They sacrificed a lot of important meetings and activities. They skipped meals and willingly sacrificed their supposedly "holiday".

And to all quizzers, CONGRATULATIONS! All your hard work and sleepless nights did not go in vain. God honours those who honour Him. Amen?

I am very proud of you, each and everyone of you. You all are like the many parts in the body who worked together towards a purpose, a destiny.

Once again we are reminded, we are always BETTER TOGETHER.

Praise Him!

Bible Quiz and my Week

2007-11-14T11:47:00.000-08:00

The tiny little icon resembling a digital clock sitting at the bottom right on my computer screen just turned 3.50am. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I have been browsing the internet for more than 2 hours. It seemed like minutes ago. I must admit that Facebook has a certain degree of attraction, just like the magical stories in Harry Potter series, once conjured, will have eyes glued on it for hours, and for some, days.

I know I should rest soon. My body and mind are as tired and as worn out as dad's old car tyres, but somehow, like many other times, my eyes and mind just refused to shut and to call it a day. I am pretty tired of this, tired of fighting it, tired of forcing myself to sleep and tired of believing that I will fall asleep after I've finished counting all the sheep. Nah. For my case, it didn't work.

These few weeks had been quite hectic but fun for me.

I spent almost one week together with Yuen Chern, both entrusted with one huge responsibility to guard the Bigg's Mansion. Both Mei Eu and Yit Kuan were away for a mission trip to Cambodia. We had fun. A big mansion to ourselves. What else could we asked for. We are glad that many other friends came along to accompany us, some for the day and some over the night.

The whole gang of Bible Quizzers came along too. They spent almost one whole day with me, revising the chapters of Luke and practicing hard for the Bible Quiz this coming Saturday. Loud voices and laughter filled the big mansion, accompanied by Benedict's occasional singing and Joshua's rude remarks thrown carelessly at him every now and then. It didn't stop him though, coz by the time we were clearing up the hall, I could still hear Ben rendering his own version of Rihanna's "Umbrella".

The whole bunch of Quizzers looked worrying complacent in their preparation for the Bible Quiz this year. I wondered whether it was because they were the champion for the last two consecutive years. If that is so, I failed miserably in advising them to be humble that there could be stronger opponents this year and that they must not take it too lightly. After all, I believe with all my heart that we won because of God's grace, not our abilities.

Things look a bit more promising now though. Seeing many of them have actually started revising seriously. One part that really touches me is seeing how they all worked together as a team, helping and encouraging one another. It is heart warming to see God's love and care shown and manifested through this group of young quizzers.

Whether they win or lose, it doesn't really matter. It is the process of learning, the love and support shown to one another and the fun of being together that really matters.

To me, they have already won.

I am tempted to write more, but if I don’t start to sleep or at least try to sleep, I know I will be end up like a zombie tomorrow. Never liked that kind of feeling.

I better off to catch some rest. Will update on this blog once the quiz is over.

Bed. Here I come.

Is dissapointment my middle name?

2007-09-27T01:11:00.000-07:00

Is dissapointment my middle name?

Have you tried so hard wanting to do something, to plan for something but some key people in that group just dont buy your idea? It is something that you really want to do, your brainchild, something that you've put all your heart (I really mean ALL) and you really wished to have certain people involved.

But do you think they realized? Do you think they care?

No. I dont think so. I dont think they will ever do.

That's pretty sad, isn't it? No matter how much effort and how much you wanted them to be involved in it, all they need is just something to pop up and they will tell you that they cannot make it for yours. No matter how much ealier you told them. No matter how many times you told them that you really want them to be involved.

Just one thing pops up and that's it.

"Oh, let me think about it" That's all they said.

Funny hor?

Is dissapointment my middle name?

Dad

2006-11-01T19:50:00.000-08:00

Tell me Dad.

Speak to me.

Carry me.

Take my hand and lead me.

I'm weary....

My Love Languages

2006-06-13T19:26:00.000-07:00

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Acts of Service.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		9
Acts of Service:		6
Quality Time:		6
Receiving Gifts:		5
Physical Touch:		4

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Journals

2006-05-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

I always have this habit of writing entries on my journal on what i have done on that particular day.

Yesterday, as i was helping my dad to clear the store room, i stumbled upon all my previous journals, some dated back to 2000. My mind couldn't help but to wander back to the good ol memories as i flipped the pages of the journal. Scenes started to flash one by one on my mind as i travelled back time.

Sweet. Really sweet.

Looking back , my life seems to be a large piece of jigsaw puzzle. There were pieces which i thought not part of the puzzle but now fit exactly to where it belong. There were also pieces that i couldn't understand why it must be located there, but know i understand.

But one thing that i was sure and still sure is that my Father in Heaven is in control. I know He is Author and the Finisher of my faith and all i need to do is to surrender all to Him and to walk in His path.

One day, as i look back to my life, i know i will be able to see the completed jigsaw puzzle. I believe it will be a very beautiful picture, a masterpiece of God. Dont you think so?

Shut Up

2006-04-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

There you go
You're always so right
It's all a big show
It's all about you

You think you know
What everyone needs
You always take time
To criticize me

It seems like everyday
I make mistakes
I just can't get it right
It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

There you go
You never ask why
It's all a big lie
Whatever you do

You think you're special
But I know and I know and I know
and we know
That you're not

You're always there to point out my mistakes
And shove them in my face
It's like I'm the one
You love to hate
But not today

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down
(shut up, shut up, shut up)
Is gonna bring me down
(shut up, shut up, shut up)
You'll never bring me down

Don't tell me who I should be (Don't tell me who I should be)
And don't try to tell me what's right for me
Don't tell me what I should do
I don't wanna waste my time
I'll watch you fade away

So shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say today
Is gonna bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up
Don't wanna hear it
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my way
Step up, step up, step up
You'll never stop me
Nothing you say
Is gonna bring me down

Bring me down
(shut up, shut up, shut up)
You won't bring me down 
Bring me down
(shut up, shut up, shut up)
You won't bring me down

Shut up, shut up, shut up

Name	Shut Up
Artist(s)	Simple Plan
Album(s)	Still Not Getting Any (2004)

The River Has No Name

2006-04-04T18:34:00.000-07:00

Changes

2006-03-29T18:07:00.000-08:00

Ok. Just changed a new skin for my blog. Just felt like changing it. Not the theme, just the template. Anyway, I dont think I ever had a theme for my blog :(

Sometimes, I envy those people who actually spent some time and effort in changing, renovating or whatever-you-call-it to their blog site. There's this friend of mine whose toilet-themed blog was replaced by this nice, colourful and vibrant page. Not bad huh. Must have took him some time. Another friend of mine who had also changed the theme of his blog, something from a shoe-themed blog to a page full of fruits. Last I heard he was thinking of changing again. Cool huh. From shoes to fruits. I wonder what's the connection :)

Personally, I dont like changes.

But the most iritating part is that - life is full of changes. I have to change, i mean WE have to change, whether we like it or not. May it be from simple things like the template or the theme of our blogs, to our attitudes, the way we work, the way we relate, the way we eat, the way we pray, the way we study....... and the list goes on ........... all to show us nothing but to CHANGE.

Last week, Pastor Isaac talked about changes. One of his sermon points reminded us that the Church's structure can change, but not the Ministry. Leslie, the youth intern also challenged the youth in ISCA to change, to be more mature in Christ.

Changes.. Changes... Changes....

Like it or not. WE have to CHANGE. Bottom line is, we have to constantly examine ourselves and see how we can change to improve ourselves, physicallty, mentally and spiritually.

BACK

2006-03-28T19:50:00.000-08:00

Ok. Instead of starting my entry with the usual "I'm sorry I’ve neglected my blog" , "Sorry that I didn't update for sometime" ....

I'm Back... ya... alive and kicking.... too many things have happened since and believe me, as much as I wanted to update of all the experiences, activities and stuff, I’ve too little time left to do anything, let alone blog. But now and then, I still browse through most of my friends blog... and if you care enough to read this entry of mine, be sure that I am also reading yours too.... always curious and wanting to know that you are doing fine :)

It's interesting that through these blogs I’ve learned many funny things like we can actually grow a girlfriend overnight. Not bad huh. Still haven't heard about it in Malaysia yet.

It's also amusing of how a certain sweet looking girl whose looks can be like an angel, but rides like a devil". The irony.

Oh ya, not forgetting that one of our friend has finally found his "the One". Good for him. I think a better buck up in this area. Too much love, need to share with "someone". Blek.

Ok. Enough of babbling.

Just a flashback of what happened to me past few months:

I've been to my first mission trip to Vietnam. Came back and survived.

Visited some of my friends in KL and hopped from house to house to find a place to stay.
It was fun, believe me :P

Went back to Genting Highlands to visit my old friends and was treated like a VIP. Haha. Actually all they did was take me around and give me free good food from the time i stepped my foot on that frigid mountain till the very last day. Am touched.

Went to Cameron Highland to do a program for a bunch of Pastors kids. Well, I always thought pastors kids are the hardest to teach, but , I think I was wrong. They were quite fun la, except for a few kids with that "I know the answer... my dad's a pastor..." kind of response.

Well, that's the updates. And I believe that it was also part of the reason why I haven't been updating my blog. My blog link had also been removed from Shades ' blog for not acheving his quota.

Sigh. Alvin, now that I’ve updated my blog, can I be reinstated? -Fingers crossed- Muahaha.

Well, time flies, isn't it? It seems like yesterday we celebrated New Year and now the 1 st quarter of 2006 is gone. And we know that the 2nd quarter will bring new and more challenges and as well as opportunities. May our Lord help us to walk through the coming days with much courage and confidence, something that i always lacked in my life. May He watch over you and me as we continue to run this race with perseverance and faith.

Till then .....

Hypocrite?

2005-11-30T17:13:00.000-08:00

"Why do we need to forgive? We need to forgive others so Satan cannot take advantage of us (see 2 Corinthians2:10, 11) We are commanded to get rid of all bitterness in our lives and forgive others as we have been forgiven (see Ephesians 4:31,32)". (excerpts from The steps to Freedom in Christ)

As a cell leader, I have gone through these chapters with many of my cell members before they go for their baptism. And most of the times, I will go through the book myself just to make sure that I understand all the things that I am going to teach. And most of the time, it seemed to be no problem at all.

However, it is not true this time. Yesterday, I've made an appointment with one of my Cg member to go through the Steps before he goes for water baptism. It was all set and I’m all ready to teach, to impart whatever knowledge I have to him.

Here comes the thing, just a few hours before that class, God decided to teach me a lesson on forgiveness before I teach others. A matter came up and it broke my heart into pieces. I know I have to learn to forgive but I can’t. I was hurting so much. I can’t seem to take off my mind of that matter. And in the midst of all these, God asked me, “So, are you ready to forgive?”.

Candidly, I couldn't. That is why it was so hard for me when the forgiveness topic finally arrived for discussion. All I say seems to be just words. Mere words. I felt like a hypocrite.

You see. God works in marvelous ways. As I was lying on my bed yesterday, I realized that all these happened for a reason. God wants to teach me something. I always thought that I have no problem at all in forgiving people. It’s not so true anymore. God knows my heart. He is teaching me so that I will mature in Him. He is disciplining me and He is molding me to be someone He wants me to be.

Suddenly, I realized I have so much more to learn.

:(

2005-11-09T04:25:00.000-08:00

I've been under the weather these few days and to make the matter worst, my assignments are going to due in a few days time. Somehow i realize that i always fall sick when exam or assignements are just round the corner. Sigh. Pray for me, will ya? Thanks.

Nothing much to say. Tired.

Spoilt brat

2005-09-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

"I cant believe the way your love has got a hold on me,
Each morning I wake to find you near ... "

Well, my God is a good God! He is good, all the time and all the time, He is so good to me. This morning, God reminded me once again of His everlasting love and mercy. Like so many times, He anwered my prayer!

Well, I was suppose to collect my IC (MyCard) which was ready years ago. However, when Yuen Thern and I went to collect it sometime during 2003, we were asked to pay RM100 for late fines. We tried to explain to that person in-charge that we were not sent any letters informing us that our IC were ready. But they insisted on us paying the fines. Hence, in fury, both of us walked out from the department without our ICs.

It was till weeks ago, that I received a letter from the department asking me to collect my IC before end of this month, or not they will have my IC forfeited. Well, I couldn't do it until today coz waking up half an hour before 9 usually left me with not much time to drop by at the department before my work.

Today, I thank God for a phone call which woke me up at 7 something in the morning. Hence, I had ample time to get ready and drop by at the department before work. On my way to the department, I said a short prayer, praying that the place wouldn't be so crowded like usual and if possible I dont have to pay the RM100 fine. Well, my bank account is not very healthy at this moment :(

Like what I said, my God is so good. Everything went so smoothly. I was immeadiately issued my IC upon arrival. I didn't even have to get a number. And not only that, I wasn't asked for any payment of fine. The kakak at the counter just said, " Ok, boleh pergi."

Well, I thank GOd for all that happened this morning. I believe it is His intervention and once again, He has proven to me that He is more than a word in the Bible.

Sometimes, I really feel like a spoilt brat. Thank you, Abba! I love you!

Torture!

2005-09-16T20:16:00.000-07:00

Some people just have the ability to iritate people. Believe me when I say they do. In fact, they are really gifted!

I have this neighbour. And the grandson of hers has this peculiar hobby of playing with the car remote control key. And out of so many hours in the day, he chose to play with it in the morning, the very unearthly hour when everybody else still soundly asleep.

"Beep"...... (short pause)...then "Beep Beep" .... then "Beep"...... (short pause)...then "Beep Beep"then "Beep"...... (short pause)...then "Beep Beep" then "Beep"...... (short pause)...then "Beep Beep" ............... imagine this goes on at least half an hour.

Imagine the torture.

One FAMILY?

2005-08-26T18:20:00.000-07:00

Recently, one Christian friend of mine was invited by his friend to attend a Catholic Cell Group. Out of curiousity, I asked him the about the CG, how he felt and whether it was worth his visit.

To my suprise, he gave me a long list of positive answers. He said that the Catholic CG was very interesting. The people there spoke in tongues, had holy laughter and even slained in the Spirit. They are very charismatic and they hardly ever mentioned about Mary. Overall, he said the CG was very interesting and since the visit, he's not so prejudiced anymore.

So now that Catholic has become so parallel, almost similiar to Christianity, does it mean that we are now one big family? Do we, Christian accept them like how we accept other Christian denominations? Are we one now? Are we running the same race? I wonder.

Elated

2005-08-24T01:05:00.000-07:00

After a heavy lunch and a good time catching up with old friends, I found myself drowsing into slumberland right in front of my computer. My short nap was rudely interrupted by a phone call from one of my college friend. Sometimes, I just don’t understand why some people just have the special ability to call you at the wrong time. They are just so gifted.

He asked me about my CIM results. I jumped up. No. He must be wrong. The results will only be out on the 28^th, not today. I explained to him. I know because I was dreading for that particular day, to see my results, especially the last day of my exam when I fell horribly sick. I don’t know how I fared. I dread knowing it.

To add the matter worst, he told me that he failed all his subjects. My heart just dropped. I quickly made a call to another classmate and found out that he too failed a few subjects. Oh no. I ran over to the Administrator’s secretary to check whether there is any mail for me. None. Phew. I ran down to the guard house to check whether there are any new mails. And there are. Lying on the table was a few envelopes and I noticed the larger one, an A4 sized envelope, addressed to me. I grabbed everything and went up to the office.

I caught myself praying to the Lord, begging Him to grant me good results. (don’t you think it’s little bit too late) J As I was sitting in front of my pc with my hand clutching on the envelope, I told God, “Let Your will be done” and opened the letter.

Yes. God is good. I passed all my subjects. I almost cried. He has granted me my heart’s desire. Suddenly, I felt like I’m a spoilt brat. I don’t deserve it. I don’t think I could do it without God. I thank Him again and again. I feel like hugging God, thanking Him for what He has done.

I am elated. I was lost for words. I just want to find someone to share my joy. I saw my friend nearby, gave him a big bear hug. He returned me with a punch. Haha. I don’t mind.

This is the day that the Lord hath made, and I will rejoice and be glad in it.

Thank you, Abba!

Fateful Day

2005-08-22T20:34:00.000-07:00

I never thought this could happen to me. Sigh. But it did. I was caught by the police for running in a red light just a few kilometers outside my house.

What I want to emphasize is not the summon that I got, but the over zealous concern those policemen have got and I must say that they were really enthusiastic in extending a helping hand to a poor victim like me.

From the very moment I got down from my bike and handed over my IC and driving license to one of the officer, he started to bombard me with questions like "Macam mana?", "Kamu tahukah kena bayar berapa untuk saman ini?","Kamu mampu bayarkah?" and there goes a whole list of questions for me, pausing from time to time, as if waiting for me to say something, or perhaps asking for their "help".

Tired of the whole process and questioning, I just told the officer "tulis-lah", hoping that he will just issue me the summon and get done with it. However, he did not. Another officer approached me and started the questioning all over again. Sigh. You see, I was right that they were indeed very concerned policemen.

They really thought that I would turn to them and ask for their "help". Frankly, I was tempted too. But I took my stand. I can almost imagine what my friends will say when I told them about this... "Huh! Why didn't you just pay him RM50.00 and get done with it?".."look at the mess you've yourself into"... "and now you got to pay RM300.00"... bla bla bla....

RM300.0 is a bit too much for me, and with my college's exam fees due in few weeks time, plus that my bank account is not too healthy at this moment, I've got every reason just to settle it among the police. But the fact that I am a Christian, I chose not to. I chose to pay the summon.

I'm proud. Not because that I've committed such offence, but by the grace of God, I managed to stand firm and not compromise.

An ode to friendship!

2005-08-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

"Friends, use them or lose them." Haha. This quote from Alvin can never fail to crack a smile on my face. Come to think about it, it's not totally untrue. In fact, I myself had a few experiences, some quite bad experiences where friends just stop being your friends when they realize that they have not much to squeeze from you.

The word "friend", I think, has been one of the most misused words in the entire world. We have girl-friends, boy-friends, close friends, best friends, internet friends, icq friends, friendster's friend and maybe blogger friends. Sometimes, we get so used to the word "friend" till we have forgotten what a friend really is, the real definition of friend.

I have been blessed with many friends all through my life and I must say that I cherish every one of them. However, I do realize that sometimes, err.. most of the time, I may have taken them for granted.

Recently, I was forced to give some serious thinking about the word "friends" when a few of us in ISCA were preparing for a farewell for one of my very close buddy, Joel Chan. The many years of friendship has done nothing but to make me feeling more blue thinking that he'll will be leaving us for his studies in Arkansas soon. Thinking back through the years, Joel has done everything he could as a friend. When I came back from Genting for my 4 days holiday , he applied from his parents special permission for late night outs with me. He bought ring ring card so that he can call me (was barred from calling me coz my phone number appeared too often on his phone bill), he took the effort to send me snail mails, tried everything possible to keep in touch, but how about me? Have I done my part? Did I take his friendship for granted?

I also realize this horrible innate habit of human only to appreciate people or things after it has gone or no more. How many times we find ourselves saying "Oh, how I miss the times we had in secondary school!", "..if only I could spend more time to care for my girlfriend." ,"...if I only knew how to appreciate my mum", or the most common one when we hear an eulogy …. “ if I could spent more time while he was at his deathbed” This shows that we, being human always have the tendency to take things for granted, especially those who have been around us for some time.

For my case, I must seriously reflect on the friends that God has blessed me. Have I treated them as what I ought to or have I been minding my own business all these while. Must I wait for something to happen to them only I start to realize how important they are to me? NO! I mustn't! I mustn't take them, any of them for granted.

One thing that I have learned some time ago that is to treat friends as if that is the last time you are going to see them. Then you will learn to appreciate them more. Then perhaps, you would stop making fun of him or her. Perhaps you would remember to say thank you or sorry. Perhaps you would tell him or her how much you treasure the friendship.

Friends are one big thing in our life. They are the ones used by God to shape us. They are also the ones who stick by us through the good and rocky times and never gave up. They build us. They encourage us. They believe in us. We can't go far in life without them.

Seriously, I must do something. I am so lousy in keeping touch with my friends that I almost got a heart attack when I heard news about them.

Some got married. Some already with children. Some sacked from work. Some died. L

Oh ya, I didn’t even know that the friend that I see almost everyday had his driving license suspended for two months.

Oh God, help me to be a friend.

A Complete Fiasco

2005-08-04T18:52:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was given the privilege to babysit a young boy and his grandpa as the boy’s parents were away for a meeting. 4 days 3 nights … I thought to myself… it shouldn’t be a problem. After all, all I have to do is make sure that everything turns out ok. I should be able to handle it. No hassle at all.

Ok. To cut the story short. I failed. I failed miserably. It turned out to be a complete fiasco. Read along and you’ll agree with me.

Day 1 – I was supposed to be there at 4.30pm so that Isaac (the boy) can go for his tuition and his 90 something years old grandpa won’t be left alone at home. However, due to some unforeseen circumstances L I managed to reach the doorstep at almost 8pm, just in time to join
Isaac with the dishwashing. Thank God that his tuition was cancelled (or was it intentionally coz I wasn’t around) and apparently, he managed to prepare the dinner all by himself, had dinner with his grandpa and now clearing up. It was then I realized that I was horribly late. Mission failed.

Day 2 – Once bitten, twice shy. I decreed not to repeat the mistake, hence headed straight home right after work. I arrived at 5.45pm. Not too bad after all. Since it was still early for dinner, I allowed Isaac to watch the 6pm show with me for a short while. However, the short while turned
out to be not that short and we ended up having dinner at almost 8pm. Isaac later told me that his grandpa wasn’t too happy for the late dinner. He usually eats at 7pm sharp. Sorry, grandpa L Mission failed.

Day 3 – To make up for the last few days, I decided to make some nice breakfast for Isaac and grandpa. I fried eggs and sausages to add on with their usual bread and cornflakes. Sent Isaac to school. Went to work. Reached home on time. Prepared dinner on time and just before I give myself a little pat on my back for a job well done, Isaac complained that he had a tummy ache this morning in school. Gosh. The only thing he ate was my breakfast and the two slices of Gardenia bread I prepared for his recess time. And I don’t think those two slices of bread could cause more harm than my fried stuff in the morning.

I dismissed the whole thing and warned Isaac not to take too much curry in future. I even tried blaming the packet of Cheezels he took yesterday.

Just as we are about to sleep, I realized that there is no bread left for tomorrow’s breakfast and also Isaac’s food for recess time. Talk about “Sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga”. It was already close to 10 and I can’t leave Isaac alone with his grandpa at home. However, I thank God for Angeline, the good Samaritan who willingly drove all the way to deliver me the much needed bread. Isaac stayed up to wait with me and we ended up sleeping at 11 something, close to 12, way way past his normal bedtime. By the way, he is having his exam this whole week L

That's it. My first babysitting experience. Indeed, it was quite an experience to me.

Nevertheless, I had loads of fun with Isaac these few days. I truly enjoyed the many light-saber fights, pillow fights and also not forgetting the times of devotions and praying together. Through the days, we got to know each other better and became good friends.

Besides, I have also learned many valuable lessons. I’ve learned to be more responsible. I’ve
learned to be more reliable. I’ve learned to be more punctual. Last but not least, one ultimate lesson that I learned and realize is that parenting is not that easy as I thought and I am definitely far from doing OK :(

College?

2005-07-20T05:18:00.000-07:00

It's 2015 right now and i am sitting in my class browsing through some websites and finally decided to post an entry to my blog. Eikkss... just allow me to explain before you start accusing me for not paying attention in class, wasting money, no sense of respect ......bla..bla..bla

I dragged myself to the class and when i finally settled down, it's already 7.45pm. Gosh. I was already one and a half hour late. But the funny thing is the class haven't started. However, my lecturer has already started talking. Guess what? He is talking about "Bookwork deluxe" thingie and eventually taught us how to download the game and where to find the crack code. How interesting. By the way, i thought i registered myself for "Electronic Marketing"? Haha. Didn't know they cover such a wide range.

This is not the first time. Last week, i was rushing to the college only to find out that i was the only student there. The lecturer sort of asked me what my name was and soon dissapeared in his own world of internet. Later in class, he told us something about the Da Davinci Code book he browsed in the net. The lecturer ended the class after covered two long chapters in half an hour.

And now the mystery unfolds itself just a while ago. This dear lecturer of mine has officially quit his job. He is now just bidding for time for his last day where he will meet freedom. How peculiar. In my whole duration of my CIM course, i have witnessed 5 resignations in these short two years. I seriously hope it's not because of us :)

It will be another half an hours time to call the class for a day. One student has left the class just a while ago and the only two left (Alex and I ) are minding our own business while the lecturer is at his table busy reading some boobs... whoopss.. i meant books.

My day is ending in another few hours time. A very eventful day i must say. I had the heavy rain greeted me this morning. Went to work. Had lunch with an old friend- Jennifer Cheah and Leslie at Nandos. Discussed with Matteus about certain naive and innocent people in ISCA. Had dinner, courtesy from Gareth and his mum. Seeing Shari so happy, beaming. ( I am happy for you, Shar), i also got a call from my ex-colleague from Genting ...and now my the other friend leaving the class.....bla ...bla..bla... i think it's time for me to go before my lecturer shoos me off.. he has already resigned , remember? ...he can do anything..... arrggghhhh.......

I'm BACK.

2005-07-19T20:56:00.000-07:00

Ok. I am back. Have been severely neglecting my blog for a very very long time. Seriously, i even forgot the password to this site. Thanks to the "please change your password every six months"...

"So, here's one entry to let everyone know that i'm still alive and that it's still worth clicking on my blog link once in a while" (haha. quote from 1e) and by the way, I do exist ... i really do.... alive and kicking actually... compared to this blog, i am doing much better :)

Just as i was browsing through all the previous blogs i have entered, it suddenly dawned on me that those blogs are horribly saddening. I shouldn't have published it at all. Now it makes me feel like the little pathetic boy down the street. Arggghhh !! Blame it on the melancholic side of me.

Ok. A little update on myself. Just came back from a day trip from Pulau Payar. Tired. Checked in work a litte bit late, 9.35 a.m. to be exact. Blame it at the heavy downpour this morning. Am now in the office, sitting in front of my PC, staring blankly at the screen, perhaps still having hangover from yesterday. Nah. Excuses. I think mainly because, my boss, Pastor Lydia is not in and I have yet to get some directive from her before i can start anything.

Just got a call from a lady whom i dont really know. She was introduced by another lady from work and since then, we kept in touch via emails a few times. Guess what ... she's taking a bus from KL to meet me this coming Monday. Gosh. I was lost for words when she told me this morning. She enquired about some budgeted hotels and its rates and requested me to take drive her there too :P

To be frank, this is my first time. I've never done it before. I am so excited ..... I am meeting the National Director for the AG National Children's Ministry Department. haha.. Got ya !!

Ya, she's coming down to meet me to discuss about the upcoming AG Children's Workers Conference in November. But the irony is I am meeting her on monday, which so happens to be my off day and a day of sleep. For your info, I dont usually wake up before 2pm on Mondays. I am suppose to be resting mah.

Ok. It's almost time for lunch so i better get going. Leslie is not in a good mood today. Better dont provoke him.

Nasi kandar...here i come.... nasi tak mahu begitu banyak ...daging satu....sayur.....ayam .....kuah banyak....tambak kuah lagi....cukup...ok...berapa?.....

Answers...anyone?

2005-04-01T02:10:00.000-08:00

Why must we be reminded again and again and again of what a wretched we are ? Why things that have already been settled be brought up again? Why do people like to dig out histories? Why must dig out past failures? Why do one forgive you then later tell others of the things you have done? Why is the world such a nice place to be? Why I am who I am? Why? Why? Why?

Why do I even bother to know why?

The Storm

2005-03-18T17:57:00.000-08:00

There was thunder. The wind swirled; heavy drops appeared from nowhere. In no time, my long-sleeved blue shirt was wet through with rain. The weather nowadays is just so abnormal. It was hot as hell this afternoon and now... it's raining cats and dogs! Many are frowning. They don't like this. I can feel that some of them are even cursing God.

---

I find some similiarities there. Just like the heavy rain, my heart is crying out; like the heavy downpour, not knowing when or how to stop. It is uncontrollable. It is unbearable. My heart is also wet through like the blue shirt I am wearing; only this time it is wet with blood. Slice after slice, the knife just keeps on slicing... not knowing that I barely have enough blood to survive. They don't realize that I can't stand much more. Do they? Do they even care?

My friend once told me that, "Wounds from friends can be trusted but enemies multiply kisses." You know what... I am seriously not sure whether this is the wound from my friend or the kisses from the enemy? I seriously dont know. I just know that I am bleeding profusely and nobody seems to care.

They are all too busy doing good stuff. They think that they are of certain standards and set themselves high above the rest... real high.......then they cast their burdens on you, trying their best to make you feel like the beggars on the streets.

They tell you how encouraged they are having you as a friend... they tell you how much you rock as a friend but they tell others how sensitive you can be, how ungodly your character can be, how your standards fall way below theirs. Crap! For the first time, I see the other side of their faces.

I seriously dont know what to do. Tell me, if you know the answer. I've questioned God, I've questioned myself. I did all the reasoning. I tried compromising. I refuse to give up. But what can I do?

This is the biggest storm in the life I've ever lived.

Ggrrrr

2005-03-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

He's smart and good-looking; she's smarter and even better-looking. So, naturally, they want to set you up with their dumb, unattractive friend, and can't understand why you should be the slightest bit ungrateful. This "we didn't settle, but we expect you to" act is only slightly better than the related "Gosh, how can you stand being single?" routine, as sure an incitement to happy couple homicide as ever was invented.

Ggrrrr.....

Tinkerbell

2005-03-08T01:41:00.000-08:00

tink................. tink........................ boing.............................. kadakadadingdong......................................
That's the sound of cohonies expanding and depressing all automated and stuff...............................

ding dong kadadasadarasodingo.................................................................................................................
that is the sound of badido thefrog king talking!!!!!!!!!!...........................................hehehehehehe......

what do you think? do cohonies and frog kings excite you.....................................................................

king king farasugiferosogantilo..................................................................................................................
that is the way the bull of cantabiloso (fabuloso's cousin) talks to its fellow banditos.......................

conversing, mersing, pursing, lurking, hurting, staring, flaring, hearing, converting, hasting..........
what comes to mind when these words appear in front of your pimpleful face?????????????????

ging gong garasetuyingersastuletusa........................................................................................................
goes the warning bell of the lettuseians of luttecia...................................heheheehehehehe..............

ain't this blog dumb??????????
well, this blog was the concuction of a few friends of mine that were very helpful.............................